The Garden of the Blind

A very heated debate has been going on recently over whether or not gays should be allowed to marry. This is an important issue that, thanks to recent events in San Francisco and Massachusetts, will come to a head in the next few months. I feel rather strongly on the issue, but curiously, I don’t feel like publicly arguing my position. I occasionally make comments related to it, and they often lead to people completely misinterpreting my position. My point is that you shouldn’t try to take what I say to mean any more than exactly what I say I mean. If I mean to be clearer, I will be clearer.

(Enough about the actual debate. Bring on the fun!)

I was recently asked about, if I were gay, who I would be attracted to. After listing a few celebrities (Viggo Mortensen is just dreamy), I realized that I was leaving out two very important people.

First, there’s Lance. He’s a neighbor of mine who I haven’t seen for a while. And I miss him terribly. He’s a nice guy, and if I were a girl, I’d be totally freaked out by him. But I’m not a girl, so I’m free to appreciate this lovable teddy bear of a guy. I also have his computer (and have had it since about Thanksgiving), so even though he’s been in hiding lately, I’ll have to see him again sometime. The system is supposed to be optimized for gaming. Who can turn down a guy like that?

Where Lance drops off, Henry picks up. He was a neighbor of mine at school, and for a young, scrawny, hairy guy, he’s irresistible. Seriously, if you met him, you’d understand. More than that, he’s an uber-geek who has four computers and more toys and videos than almost anyone I know. The best thing about Henry was that we didn’t have any of the hangups that a lot of people have. He could go on dates or spend all his evenings with his girlfriend. As long as he came back to me, I was okay sharing him with other people. And it’s the same the other way. His girlfriend was another story. She was insanely jealous of me (the insanity being because I didn’t mind letting her have as much of him as she wanted).

But Lance has disappeared, and Henry’s an hour away. I guess I’ll have to go marry a girl now. They usually have better figures anyway, even if they don’t have nice computers to go with them.