The Garden of the Blind

During my years of insomnia, I was often told that if I would just buckle down and live a fixed schedule, that I’d stop having trouble falling asleep. I never believed them, largely because I have followed very rigid schedules for months at a time (even years, perhaps), and still not been able to fall asleep at night.

For nearly two years now, I have had an early wake-up time during the week. I still let myself go on weekends, but two strange things have happened. First, I rarely stay up past midnight, and never to 3 or 4 in the morning, which used to be standard. Second, I even more rarely get up after 10. Most mornings, I’m waking up by 7:30, whether or not I have to.

The funny thing is that I’m not cured of my insomnia. It’s not nearly as bad as it once was (one might say that it is in remission), but there are plenty of nights where I just can’t fall asleep when I should. This is especially bad when I travel. Sleeping in a strange place doesn’t work well for me, and I have found myself trying to find something to watch at unseemly hours of the morning because I couldn’t fall asleep. On the other hand, it could be the food I eat, or the heat, or worry about what I have to do the next day.

On a related note, one reason for my rather sparse postings is that I haven’t traveled since the trip to San Diego in October. It’s been nearly 5 months, with nothing definite in the near future. I even got spared a trip to Florida last week. I like the idea of traveling, but actually doing it isn’t nearly as much fun.